How to Remove an Ex From Your Apple Account and Family Sharing
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
On an iPhone with iOS 16 or later, start with Safety Check (Settings, Privacy & Security, Safety Check): it walks through who you share with, which devices are signed in, and your password. Then remove unknown devices (Settings, your name, tap the device, Remove from Account), change your Apple Account password, and leave or end Family Sharing (Settings, Family). If the two of you used one shared Apple Account, make your own.
Couples share a lot through Apple without thinking about it: a family group, photo albums, location in Find My, sometimes one Apple Account for both. After a separation each of those can keep showing the other person where you are, what you buy, or what you text. Here is the order to untangle it.
What are the steps?
1.Save a record first
Screenshot the device list and anything shared with the other person, with the date showing. Ask your lawyer before deleting anything.
2.Run Safety Check (iOS 16 or later)
Settings, Privacy & Security, Safety Check. Manage Sharing & Access lets you choose, person by person, what to stop sharing and which devices to remove. Emergency Reset stops sharing with everyone at once and walks you through your password and devices.
3.Remove devices you don't recognise
Settings, tap your name, scroll to the list of devices, tap one and choose Remove from Account. A device that is still signed in can come back once it goes online, so change your password next.
4.Change your password and check trusted numbers
In Settings, tap your name, then Sign-In & Security (Password & Security on older versions). Change the password and remove any trusted phone number that isn't yours.
5.Leave or end Family Sharing
Settings, Family (iOS 18 and later; earlier versions: Settings, your name, Family Sharing). A member taps their own name and Stop Using Family Sharing. The organizer taps a member and removes them, or turns Family Sharing off to end the group.
6.Stop sharing your location
Open Find My, go to People, and stop sharing with anyone who shouldn't see where you are. Safety Check covers this too.
What if you shared one Apple Account?
Apple's advice is not to share an Apple Account with anyone, partners included, because the other person can see everything that syncs to it: messages, call history, photos and location. If you shared one, the cleanest fix is a new Apple Account of your own on your own devices. Before you switch, make sure you have a copy of anything you need from the old one, and ask your lawyer whether the shared account itself holds evidence that should be preserved rather than changed.
What happens when someone leaves Family Sharing?
The person who leaves loses what the group shared, such as subscriptions and shared iCloud storage. The organizer can remove anyone 13 or older but can't remove themselves; to leave, the organizer turns Family Sharing off. A child under 13 can't simply be removed; Apple lets the organizer move the child to another family group instead. Who manages a child's device and Screen Time can be a custody question, so talk to your lawyer before changing a child's account.
What about iMessage on an old device?
An old iPad or Mac still signed in to your account keeps receiving your iMessages. Removing it from your account and changing the password ends that. Our guide on old devices still logged into iCloud covers it in more detail, and checking linked devices on WhatsApp, Google Messages and Messenger covers the other apps.
Is it safe to do all of this at once?
If the other person is controlling or violent, cutting off their access can tip them off. Apple's Personal Safety User Guide covers this, and an advocate can help you decide the timing: the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. If you are in danger right now, call 911.
How can Verity help?
If messages from the relationship matter to your case, save them before anything changes. Verity reads an iMessage database (chat.db or sms.db) and turns it into a numbered list of every message in date order; see how to export iMessages for court. The file is read in your browser and is not uploaded.
This is general information, not legal advice. Apple renames menus between iOS versions, so the labels on your phone may differ slightly. Verity is not a law firm and is not affiliated with Apple.
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