A Schedule Change You Agreed by Text: Does It Count?
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
A text can show clearly what you both agreed, and that is useful if it is later denied. In many places, though, an agreement between parents doesn't change the court order itself; only the court can. So word the change precisely (dates, times, "this weekend only" or "from now on"), get a clear yes in writing, keep the conversation, and if the new arrangement is meant to last, ask your lawyer about making it part of the order.
"You agreed to that" and "I never agreed to that" are both easier to settle with the exact words on the page.
Word it so there is no doubt
One-off
"To confirm: I'll have the kids Saturday the 14th from 9 to 6 instead of Sunday the 15th. Just this weekend. Yes?"
Lasting
"Starting January 6, Wednesday pickups move from 5 to 6 pm, every week. Can you confirm you agree?"
A thumbs-up or "ok" may be read differently later; a written "Yes, agreed" is clearer (see emoji as evidence).
The order still governs
Follow the court order unless you have both clearly agreed to a change, and keep the agreement. If one of you later changes your mind, the order is usually what you fall back on. A pattern of informal changes is a reason to talk to your lawyer about a formal modification. If the change is later denied, see when a co-parent denies an agreed change.
Keeping the record
- Keep each agreement in the same conversation, not split across apps.
- Note in your calendar or log which weekends ran on the changed schedule.
- Agree on how changes are asked for and confirmed; see texting rules co-parents can agree on.
Verity reads your export in your browser, without uploading it, and numbers every message in date order, so "Yes, agreed" can be pointed to by its number and date.
This is general information, not legal advice. Whether a texted agreement changes an order depends on where you live; ask your lawyer.
Find the exact words
Drop in your export and read every message numbered in date order. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.