My Ex Texted That They’ll Take the Kids: What to Do Now
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Take it seriously, and don’t argue by text. Save the message exactly as it came, with the conversation around it. If you think the children are in danger or about to be taken, call 911. Otherwise, call a family lawyer or your court’s self-help center today about an emergency order. If you fear they could be taken out of the country, the US State Department runs a program that alerts you to passport applications for your child.
Most threats like this are said in anger and never carried out. Some aren’t. Either way, the message itself is worth keeping, and the steps below cost little.
Right now
- If the children are with them and you believe they are in danger, call 911.
- Don’t reply with a threat of your own. If you reply at all: “The children will follow the schedule in the order.”
- Save the message as it came. Export the conversation (or take overlapping screenshots), and don’t delete anything around it.
- Tell someone you trust what was said, and when.
Today
- Call a family lawyer or your court’s self-help center about an emergency or temporary order. Courts can act quickly when a child may be hidden or taken.
- If there is no custody order yet, ask what the law in your state allows each parent to do until there is one.
- If you fear the children could be taken abroad, look up the US State Department’s Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program, which alerts a parent when a passport is applied for.
- Tell the school or daycare who may pick up the children, as the order allows.
What to keep
The threat, the messages before and after it, and any that repeat it, with their dates. A single threat said in anger reads differently from the same threat made again and again. See what to do about threatening texts and protective orders and text evidence.
Where does Verity fit?
Verity flags threats among other patterns, shows each with the messages around it, and numbers every message in date order, free to read on screen. Paid options are one-time: the numbered list ($19), or a report quoting the flagged messages ($99 Standard, $149 Detailed). Everything is read in your browser; your messages are not uploaded.
This is general information, not legal advice. Rules differ by state and by court; your lawyer or the court’s self-help center can tell you what applies to you. If you or your children are in danger, call 911; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
Keep the record of every threat
Try the sample first, or use your own messages. They are read in your browser and are not uploaded.