Is There an App to Check Texts for Gaslighting?
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Yes, within limits. Gaslighting in writing often uses recognizable phrases: "That never happened", "You're imagining things", "You're remembering it wrong", "You're too sensitive". Verity checks each of the other person's messages against a list of phrases like these, adds an on-device meaning check for wording the list doesn't contain, and shows every flagged message with its date and the messages around it. No app can know what really happened, so the value is the dated record: the denial next to the message it denies.
Gaslighting is hard to explain to anyone else because each message sounds small. Side by side with dates, it stops sounding small.
What a check can find
A made-up exchange, with the earlier message in the same thread:
Sunday 6:10 pm, you: "I'll have her at my sister's on Saturday, back by 7."
Tuesday 9:51 am, them: "You never told me that. You're remembering it wrong again."
On its own, Tuesday's message is one person's word against another's. With Sunday's message two days above it, numbered and dated, it isn't. That is what a record does that memory can't.
How Verity checks for it
- Phrase lists: "that never happened", "you're imagining / making it up", "you're remembering it wrong", "I never said that", "you're too sensitive", "you're paranoid", "get your head checked" and similar.
- Context rules: quoted or denied phrases are skipped, so "you said 'that never happened'" isn't counted against you.
- A meaning check: a small language model running on your device compares each message with labeled examples, to catch abusive wording the lists miss.
For what gaslighting looks like across a whole thread, see signs of gaslighting in text messages and denying a schedule change that was made out loud.
What no app can do
It can't know what happened. A denial is gaslighting only if what is denied really happened, and sometimes the other person is right. A check also misses gaslighting phrased in ways it hasn't seen, and flags some ordinary messages. Our methodology page publishes how often Verity gets it wrong. One tool is literally called Gaslighting Check; we compare it fairly in Gaslighting Check vs Verity.
Where does Verity fit?
The free preview flags gaslighting alongside DARVO, threats and blame-shifting, shows one flagged message in full, and lets you read every message numbered in date order. Everything runs in your browser and nothing is uploaded. Paid options are one-time: the numbered list ($19), or a report quoting the flagged messages with their dates ($99 Standard, $149 Detailed).
This is general information, not legal advice or a diagnosis of anyone. If you are in danger, call 911; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
Put the denial next to the message
Try the sample first, or drop in your export. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.