Your Co-Parent Won't Use the Co-Parenting App: What to Do
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Keep inviting them through the app, keep your own messages there, and save proof of each refusal: the invitation, the dates, any reply saying no. If the court ordered the app, not using it can be raised with the court; if it didn't, you can ask for it in mediation or in your parenting plan. Meanwhile, answer the children's needs through whatever channel they do use, and export that conversation too, so nothing important is lost between two places.
An app only helps if both parents are in it. When one isn't, the record splits in two, and both halves need keeping.
Ordered, or just agreed?
Read your order or parenting plan. If it names an app, refusing to use it is a matter for the court, through your lawyer. If it doesn't, the app is a request, and you can ask for it formally. Which apps courts tend to name, and why, is in court-approved co-parenting apps.
Save proof of each refusal
- The invitation from the app, with its date, and any reminder you sent.
- Replies refusing it, or texts that keep going to the old channel instead.
- Things missed because messages stayed outside the app.
Keep the children's needs answered
Don't let the app become the reason a question about the children goes unanswered. Reply where they wrote, briefly, and add "I've also posted this in the app". A court is more interested in whether the children's needs were met than in which app was used.
Two channels, one record
Export both: the app's report (see the OurFamilyWizard report or the TalkingParents record) and the text thread. Verity reads both kinds of file in your browser, without uploading them, and numbers every message in date order, so each part of the conversation can be shown in order.
Asking for it formally
Mediation or a parenting-plan change is the usual route (see texts and custody mediation). Agreeing on the basic rules first can help too; see texting rules co-parents can agree on and OurFamilyWizard vs regular texting.
This is general information, not legal advice. Follow your order, and ask your lawyer before raising a refusal with the court.
Put both conversations in order
Drop in an export or an app report and read every message numbered in date order. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.