How to Turn Months of Text Messages Into a Report for Your Family Lawyer
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Export the whole conversation instead of taking screenshots, and keep the original file. Put every message in date order with a number, mark the ten to twenty messages that matter, and write a one-page timeline that points to them by number. Send your lawyer the timeline, the numbered list and the original export, in the form they ask for. You can do this in a spreadsheet, or have a tool such as Verity number the messages and find the patterns for you.
Your lawyer bills by the hour, and reading thousands of texts is slow, expensive work. An hour of organizing on your side can save several of theirs, and it makes sure the messages you care about are the ones they see.
The six steps
1.Export the whole conversation
Use the app's own export instead of screenshots: WhatsApp's Export chat, an iPhone's Messages database or a backup app, SMS Backup & Restore on Android, Facebook's Download your information, or the PDF record from OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. An export keeps every message with its sender and date.
2.Keep the original file and the phone
Save the export somewhere safe and leave it unchanged, and do not delete the conversation or reset the phone. If the messages are ever questioned, the original file and the phone are how they are checked.
3.Put every message in date order, with a number
A numbered list lets you and your lawyer point to "message 1,482" instead of "the one in March". A spreadsheet works, or a tool that numbers the export for you.
4.Pick the messages that matter
Most of months of texts is pickup times. Mark the ten to twenty messages that show what the case is about: threats, refusals, admissions, missed exchanges. Note each message number and date.
5.Write a one-page timeline
One line per event: the date, what happened in plain words, and the message numbers that show it. Facts only. This page is what your lawyer reads first.
6.Send it the way your lawyer wants
Ask before you send anything large. Most want the one-page timeline, the numbered list and the original export, not a camera roll of screenshots.
Step-by-step export guides: WhatsApp, iPhone, Android, Messenger and Instagram, OurFamilyWizard, or pick your app.
What goes in the one-page timeline?
Keep it short and factual. For example:
Mar 3 — Exchange moved from 6 pm to 8 pm by text two hours before (#1,204–1,209).
Mar 17 — Refused the weekend call; “you don't get to talk to them” (#1,355).
Apr 2 — Threat about the school pickup (#1,488).
Leave out opinions about the other parent, and include your own messages around each event. Your lawyer will read both sides, and so will the judge. Our co-parenting log guide has a free template.
What should you not send?
- A camera roll of screenshots. They lose dates and the messages around them, and someone has to sort them. See organizing hundreds of screenshots if that is all you have.
- Edited or cropped messages. Keep everything; mark what matters instead.
- Someone else's private messages you got from their phone or account. Ask your lawyer first; see is it legal to read a co-parent's texts.
Where does Verity fit?
Verity does steps 3 and 4 for you. Drop the export in, or pick screenshots, and it is read in your browser without being uploaded. The free preview shows the patterns it found across the conversation and one flagged message in full, and you can read every message on screen, numbered in date order. The $19 option is a PDF of every message numbered in date order, with a fingerprint of the original export file. The $99 Standard and $149 Detailed reports add the flagged messages, quoted and dated and grouped by pattern, which makes step 4 much faster. You still write the timeline; it is your account of events.
This is general information, not legal advice, and Verity is not a law firm. Ask your lawyer how they want evidence prepared; courts and lawyers differ. If you are in danger, call 911; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
Number every message in your conversation
See a sample first, or drop in your export for a free preview. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.