Your Ex Texted That They're Moving With the Kids: What to Save and Do
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Save the message and everything around it, then talk to a family lawyer soon, because relocation rules have deadlines. Many states require formal notice or a court's permission for a move with the children. Florida's law covers a move of 50 miles or more for at least 60 days and requires a written agreement or a petition; in California, a custody order can require notice by mail at least 45 days before a move. A text may not be that formal notice, but it shows what was said and when.
Moves often surface in a casual message first: a new job, a new partner's house, a fresh start. The date of that first message can matter later.
What to save
- The message itself, your reply, and the messages around it, with their dates.
- Earlier mentions of the move. When did they first raise it, and what did they say about school or visits?
- Anything sent with it: a listing, a job offer, a new address.
- The whole conversation as a file, not just screenshots (see how to export your texts).
What the law asks: two examples
Florida. Section 61.13001 defines relocation as a change of the main residence of at least 50 miles for at least 60 consecutive days (not counting vacations, school or medical stays). It needs either a written agreement that sets a new time-sharing schedule, or a petition to relocate served on the other parent. If the other parent objects in time, the move has to wait for the court's permission, and relocating without following the statute exposes the parent to contempt and proceedings to bring the child back.
California. Family Code § 3024 lets a custody order require a parent to give notice of a planned change of the child's residence for more than 30 days: by mail, return receipt requested, and where feasible at least 45 days before the move, so there is time for mediation.
Other states set different distances, deadlines and steps. A family lawyer in your state can tell you which apply.
How to answer the text
- Keep it short and factual: ask where, when, and what they propose for school and your time with the children.
- Don't agree to anything by text that you haven't thought through; a quick "fine" can be read as consent.
- If you don't agree, say so plainly, once.
- If the message is a threat to take the children without permission, see an ex threatening to take the kids.
How the messages help
A move case turns on dates and details: when you were told, what was proposed, how each of you responded. Verity reads your exported conversation in your browser, without uploading it, and numbers every message in date order, so you can point your lawyer to message #2,140 instead of scrolling. Decisions made without the other parent are covered in unilateral decision-making.
Laws cited
Read on the states' own sites on November 3, 2026. Laws change; check before you rely on them.
This is general information, not legal advice. Relocation law varies by state and deadlines can be short: talk to a family lawyer where your case is. If you fear the children will be taken, call 911.
Put the conversation in order
Drop in your export and read every message numbered in date order. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.