How to Send Your Text Messages to Your Lawyer (So They Actually Get Read)
Reviewed by Jacob Reed, founder of Verity ·
Short answer
Ask your lawyer what format they want first. Most can work with three things: the export of the whole conversation exactly as it came from the app, a copy with every message numbered in date order, and a one-page summary listing the messages that matter by number and date, with a line on why each one matters. That reads in minutes; three hundred screenshots in an email don't.
Your lawyer's time is billed, and a pile of screenshots gets read last. A short, numbered package gets read first.
1. Ask before you send anything
- What format they want: the original file, a PDF, or both.
- How to send it: many firms have a secure upload link; email may not suit a large file.
- Which dates matter for this hearing, so you don't send years when months will do.
2. The export, exactly as it came
Export the whole conversation from the app (iPhone, Android, or the steps for other apps). Don't edit, rename or trim it; keep your own copy too. It is the record everything else points back to.
3. Every message numbered
A numbered copy lets you write "see #1,482" instead of "the one from March, near the bottom". Verity numbers every message in date order, free to read on screen and $19 as a printable PDF, and you can print only the dates your lawyer asked for while each message keeps its number. See printing texts with dates and numbers.
4. A one-page summary
Short and plain, in date order:
#214, March 3, 9:41 pm: says he will keep the children past the exchange time.
#1,482, June 18, 6:05 pm: refuses the pickup the order sets.
#2,077, August 2, 11:58 pm: twelve messages in twenty minutes after I didn't answer.
Ten to twenty entries is plenty. Leave the arguing out; the messages do that. If you keep a log of events that happened outside the texts, attach it (how to keep one).
What not to send
- Only their worst messages. Send both sides; your lawyer needs to know what yours say too.
- Cropped or marked-up screenshots, or messages retyped into a document.
- Anything you got by reading their phone or accounts without permission; see is it legal to read your co-parent's texts.
Where does Verity fit?
Verity reads the export in your browser, numbers every message, and flags patterns such as threats, gaslighting and floods of messages, each with its number, which makes the one-page summary quicker to write. Paid options are one-time: the numbered list ($19), or a report quoting the flagged messages with their dates and numbers ($99 Standard, $149 Detailed). Lawyers with many cases can use Verity for attorneys.
This is general information, not legal advice. Your lawyer decides what to file and how; follow their instructions over anything here. If you are in danger, call 911; the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
Number the conversation before you send it
Try the sample first, or drop in your export. It is read in your browser and is not uploaded.